


Welcome to my mind!

by Slaskia



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Gen, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rule 34, horrors of the internet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 03:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13425498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaskia/pseuds/Slaskia
Summary: Drabbles set in the 'cast room' of my mind.  Expect characters from every single fandom I've ever written/RPed for (plus a few completely original creations).  Also expect some OOCness, general wackiness…and take any talk of official ‘plot’ with a grain of salt.  Actually…take everything with a truckload of salt!Chapters will be added as I write them...and they won't be in any chronological order.





	1. The Inhabitants (character list)

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter will serve as the 'rogues gallery'. I'll list each character that has shown up here, along with they fandom they belong to, basic abilities and quirks.

Chelos Seisteren (Mass Effect) (Original Roleplay Character).  Turian vampire with electricity element.  Can hack with his powers.  Very computer and internet savvy and doesn’t seem phased by what can be found there.  Fun fact:  he was unintentionally based off of Mikoto Misaka from the A Certain Scientific Railgun manga/anime, as his powers ended up somewhat similar to hers (Misaka would kick his ass, btw). 

Ky’yn Nekispo (Mass Effect) (Original Roleplay Character).  Turian vampire with fire element.  Missing her left hand and part of her left forearm due to a bomb prior to her turning.  Engineer by trade. 

Skywarp (Transformers: Prime) (Canon). Can cloak and teleport (the latter an innate ability).  Claims he’s a pervert:  well compared to his twin, Thundercracker, he is.  Has a metal etching hobby. 

Starscream (Transformers: Prime) (Canon).  Is Starscream (need I say more?) 

Thundercracker (Transformers: Prime) (Canon).  Minor scientist that specializes in sonic devices/weapons.  Is a prude…yet makes a minor living off of writing erotic stories (don’t ask….) 

Yarzon (Transformers) (Original Character)  Quintesson rebel that makes drones for a living.  Is easily disturbed (read: freaked out) by anything sex related (he’s a super prude), unless it is strictly in a medical context (and sometimes even then…).


	2. The Horrors of the Internet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title speaks for itself.

It was fairly quiet in the hanger for once. Until the lone Quintesson suddenly shrieked and left the building as fast as his tentacles could propel him. Most of the inhabitants watched him go with a bit of confusion. Starscream on the other hand, facepalmed and went to the computer Yarzon was just at, where he let out a long sigh.

“OK, who’s the joker that changed the homepage from Netflix to a porn site?” he demanded. Silence was his answer as the other inhabitants looked at each other and shrugged. Starscream groaned and fixed the homepage.

“What’s the guys problem anyway?” Starscream looked down at one of the turian vampires that resided here: Chelos he believed his name was. “He’s a walking henti waiting to happen!”

“A what?” Starscream wasn’t sure if he should be confused or enraged.

“Tentacle porn!” The pale colored, fanged turian explained. “There’s a lot of it on the web. Spirits...I’ve seen a few with those Quintesson using those things to-“

“Chelos!” another of the turian vampires, an amputee named Ky’yn, interrupted. “We do _not_ need the mental image!”

“Pffft…prudes...the lot of you,” Chelos grumbled, folding his arms.

“Says the over three-hundred-year-old vakar that has never gotten laid himself,” Ky’yn pointed out smugly.

“Hey!” Chelos snapped. “Just because I haven’t gotten any doesn’t mean I am a prude!”

“Annnd I am leaving this conversation…,” Starscream muttered shifting away from the two vampires as they got into a full-blown argument.

“It does beg the question…,” Thundercracker mused, looking thoughtful. “Just how do Quintesson’s get it on?” Everyone looked at him, eyes/optics wide and mouths agape.

“No…TC…just _no_!” Skywarp exclaimed. “I may be the pervert between the two of us but even _I_ think that’s too much!”

“If you want to get ideas on possibilities for your stories, big blue guy….” Chelos shouted. “Just do a google search on ‘rule 34 quintesson’. These humans can be really creative!”

“Hmm…good idea.” Thundercracker flipped open his laptop.

“TC no!” a number of people shouted.

Too late. Thundercracker’s optics suddenly widened and he went stiff in shock.

“Bro?” Skywarp called after he hadn’t moved for a good minute. When he didn’t get a response, he waved a hand in front of his optics. “Great…processor is fried.” Without looking at it himself, he closed the laptop so his twin was no longer looking at it. “He’ll take a few kliks to reboot….”

Chelos was laughing. “He writes erotica and he can’t handle that!?” he cried, wiping away a tear. “I’ve seen worse…much, much worse!”

“I think can speak for all of us…,” Starscream grumbled. “When I _kindly_ ask you to _not_ tell us!”

“Pfft…wimps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I haven't done that search. No, I don't ever PLAN to! (And no, I'm not prude, either)


End file.
